Cucumber as a sex toy

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Sex toys are really great, but with our bank accounts still weeping from the sucky recession we've just stumbled out of, we need to get our priorities right. If it means I don't have to compromise my hefty meth addiction, I'm always going to pick my brother's dowdy old Rampant Rabbit over one of those bespoke sex toys that women like Barbara Walters probably own. In these days of hardship, we must make do. We aren't all Walters. A book I stole from a hospital waiting room the other day called Make Your Own Sex Toys: A Practical Guide to a Better Love Life instructs you on how to make the moist out of average household items like cucumbers, elastic, and curtain rings.
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Is it safe to use a cucumber for sex without a condom?

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Is it safe to use a slim cucumber as a dildo? Why? - Quora

Just remember veggies are often much harder and bigger than you think. So take it slow and use lube. Another thing to consider is that as certain veg warms up with your body warmth , a cucumber and definitely a banana will become a bit mushy. If it breaks apart you might have trouble retrieving parts from inside you. Smaller parts will eventually come out if you let nature take its course. A painful experience that can actually lead to death if left untreated. We would urge anyone who has gotten anything stuck up there to seek medical advice immediately, no matter how embarrassed you feel.
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Lockdown sex with household items doesn’t have to be dangerous, doctors say

The pair had often had this type of sex, she wasn't tied up and he felt that if the cucumber was a problem, she could have removed it herself. Tesco were feeling particularly fruity or should we say vegetable-y this Valentine's Day, when they placed a 'Perfect for Valentine's sign next to a crate of their finest cucumbers. But after reading the following story, they'll probably want to hope no-one took them up on their creative suggestion. Oliver invited his mistress over to his flat while his wife was out, where the pair proceeded to drink four bottles of wine before moving on to shots of schnapps, and then got down to it.
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By Kirsten Fleming. Online searches for homemade sex toys have swelled since society has closed its doors, reports the Mirror. According to research done by online marketplace OnBuy, there were over 23, Google searches for homemade sex toys across UK cities last month. She says some of the most common objects used are cucumbers, electric toothbrushes and candles.
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